The first 5 years of my Eternal Marriage

So October 1st was Jeremiah and I's 5th year anniversary. :)

Thank's to the help of my in laws, who where able to stay with our boys, we had the opportunity to get away for a few days and spend some time with each other which was really nice and refreshing:) It is so nice to take time away from all the hustle of daily life to spend a few days with your spouse. Specially when you have small children because it is so difficult to get alone time with your spouse when you have little children... Even with a small budget it is possible to make it happen. So I definitely encourage all you married people out there, if you can, plan something out. Surprise your husband or wife with a weekend getaway. Even if it's just one night. If your on a low budget, even something as cheap as going camping just with your significant other is totally worth it:)

Any who, I wanted to write this post because throughout these 5 years I have learned A LOT of lessons. I have to admit that I came into my marriage pretty naive. I was one of those girls who dreamed about being married and having a family and having I guess kinda like a happily ever after, you know all that dandy fairy tale stuff. I mean, I knew that not everything was going to be perfect but for the most part, yeahh, I thought everything was going to be perfect... At least when it came to my relationship with my spouse. I didn't realize everything a marriage actually en tailed and how challenging and difficult it would be at times.

That quote really sums up what your doing when you get married. Marriage is a REAL act of faith guys. I mean your pretty much entering into a permanent partnership with someone that you might not really know as well as you think you do. Someone who might end up being Completely different from you. In my case this is EXACTLY what happened. Not only do we come from different cultures, Jeremiah and I are completely different. Complete opposites. While I am more of the the shy, reserved introvert, he is the outgoing loud extrovert. And yeah I guess, we have all heard the cliche that opposites attract. Well I guess you can say that KINDAA happened with us but in all honesty it's not as easy as it might sound BUT, its possible. 

So, here are a few lessons that I've learned these past 5 years. 

1) I learned that the most important thing is having a spouse that has the same goals, who is 100% committed and who is whiling to compromise. Everything else, I've realized is just extra. After the honeymoon phase started to fade I started to realize that in all honesty we just enjoyed doing different things.  When it came down to it, we were completely different. While he wanted to spend his free time out and about meeting new people, I kinda just wanted to spend my free time relaxing at home watching a movie with him. Low key. Coming to this realization was difficult for me, and it took me time to start to realize that  not being 100% compatible was not the end of the world. In fact that compatibility actually plays a very little part in making a marriage work. The important thing is that first we have the same goals, in this case we have the same spiritual goals as well as temporal goals. Second, that we are both committed to our marriage which means that even though we are different, we are both whiling to respect who each other is and support each other. This means not trying to change somebody. There's a quote that i'm going share a little later but a little part of that quote says "pray for your companions joy to be your own." I love this. We have learned to compromise and to take turns doing what each most enjoys. I've learned that it is so important to make an effort to also take an interest in what your spouses interests are because this will bring you closer together. 

2) The second thing I've learned is pretty much summed up by the following quote.

Now a days, one of the incorrect and irrational attitudes we tend to have is that love is merely a mystical feeling, a mysterious power that over takes us; and when it comes, we “ fall into it,” helpless to control it. We are prone to think that it can vanish as mysteriously as it came and that we are helpless to prevent its leaving.  

As many of you know my parents are divorced. I remember having a conversation with my father at the beginning of their separation. During that conversation my father told me he was just no longer in love with my mother…  

We are blessed with the opportunity to live in a time where we can pick who we marry. Most of the time we decide to marry a person because we are already deeply in love with them. I believe that Love is a choice, it is a part of our agency. I believe that my father choose not to love  my mother anymore. Your one true love is the one you make.  In all honesty I would much rather have someone who loves me to choose me, and choose me every day then have someone who thinks some power out of their control is what brings them together.  Once your married, it is vital to choose your spouse everyday. Yes it is possible for love to fade, but that's if you let it fade. Like in the case of my father. He was one of those under the impression that he had fallen out of love. He did not realize that it takes daily work and devotion to keep a marriage working. 

3) The last lesson i'm going to talk about that I have learned is based on this quote:

I absolutely love this quote. It reminds me of something my sister Evelyn told me one day. She told me to "pray and ask God to help me see my spouse the way that he sees him". God sees us by our full potential.  There might be times in a marriage where you might get so caught up on something that you don't like about your spouse that you forget the many great qualities they have. I've definitely found myself making this mistake, but I have learned the importance of praying to see the good things which immediately makes any little mistake or problem seem tiny. 

Well, I've already gone too long with this post. I just want to end by saying that although marriage is one of the most difficult challenges that I have faced it has definitely also been the most rewarding. I am sooo grateful to have Jeremiah. I appreciate his patience with me, the constant acts of service he does for me, and the love that he shows me and our children daily. I admire his spirituality, his intelligence and the ability that he has to see everyone around him with so much love. I thank him for choosing me to be his eternal companion and I want him to know that I love him deeply. 

This is us at Multnomah falls in Portland. We went to Portland for a few days to celebrate our Anniversary this year.

Terrible picture haha, but it's the only resent picture I have of us together...I def need to start taking more pictures...

Here's a much better picture of Multomah falls that I found on google